My ‘Job’ Of Being A Business Owner

I’m not gonna lie.

My morning wasn’t as clear as the beautiful blue skies we currently have in Vancouver!

I’d just come back from a run and was all pumped up and excited about my week and what I had accomplished.  I was feeling so good about EVERYTHING!

I had a call scheduled with a business coach and during that call something switched. 

Gone was all my excitement and pride from achieving what I had set out to do this week and I burst into tears.

Like, where did this come from?

The more I thought about it and talked to my business coach about it, (who, by the way was amazing and didn’t judge me), I realized that I thought I was bad at my ‘job’. 

My ‘job’ of being a business owner.  Of being a fashion designer.

And all this before 9am on a Friday morning.

So the shock of finding out that I still had so much to learn and refine in my business is a bit of a hard pill to swallow.  Hence the ‘not-so-sunny-and-clear-skies’.

For the majority of my career in fashion, I always thought I was pretty good at what I did and I received reinforcement of this from others too.

When we come across challenges and skills we need to learn, in business and in life, sometimes it does take a little more encouragement and support in order to ‘get-over’ them.

But hearing myself say that I didn’t think I was good at my ‘job’ was a bit of an ‘oh, shit’ moment as well as an ‘ooohhhh, shiiiiiiittttt’ moment.

Our first reaction as humans is normally negative, and this is true of my first reaction.

But then, and it literally took 2 seconds,  I was like, ‘oh yeah, I have the choice to take this as a learning opportunity’.

After the call I just sat at my desk, looked at my computer wondering what I was supposed to do next.

Noticing that the jumper I had on, had a big toothpaste stain on it,  I went and changed it and instantly felt better.

Recently before I’ve made any decision; big, small, good, bad, ugly or beautiful, I’ve closed my eyes and just sat with the decision.  If it felt wrong, or a voice in my heart said no, I didn’t do it. 

And it’s been working.  So that’s what I decided to do.

I closed my eyes and decided to forgive myself for spending 4 hours last night indulging in reality TV, I decided that there would be no judgement for not posting on IG everyday as I had told myself I would, and I forgave myself for not having all the answers to the challenges that arose in my business.

And the remainder of my morning, from 10am, everything just flowed. 

Instead of going to my 10.30am yoga class (don’t worry, am going to the 4pm class!),  I ticked a few things off on my to-do list, added a few more and felt a whole lot better about how I was doing my ‘job’.

This afternoon I plan on scrolling through photos from a photo shoot I did in NYC, writing this blog post and posting on IG.  And of course, yoga.

Showing myself that I am good at my ‘job’, that I really do love what I do and most importantly, that I’ve got what it takes to meet any challenge that comes my way.