There’s this Maya Angelou quote about sitting and just thinking.
“The world is moving so fast and our plates are overflowing with the things we feel we have to do. But all we really need to do is take a day and sit down and think.”
Right now, I am just taking a few deep, slow breaths, looking out over a body of water and letting my mind wander.
Oh, such freedom! Such luxury!
Oh, shit! What am I forgetting to do?!!!
I find myself with a whole half hour to spare. In between finding food for breakfast and getting back to teacher training early in order to get my window seat.
In the past 6 months, I haven’t had this space to just think.
Of course I still have a to-do list. And it is freakin’ massive, but I also don’t have enough time to make the trek home to get started on it.
So I’m giving myself the gift of time.
I’m giving myself time to think about things : stuff : people : wants : needs : annoyances : work : the world : myself.
My mind will wander anywhere and everywhere. That is what it is designed to do.
So, I’m treating myself and I’m allowing myself time to absorb. Absorb vibrations, energy, the environment around me. And I realize just how lucky I am to do this. To be able to do what I do on a daily basis.
Waking up is #1.
Go to yoga is #2.
There are of course a few mini steps in between, but am sure you get the picture.
Work at a job I enjoy, well, the majority of the time! It is called work after all! #3.
Side projects, kateandfrances and my writing and yoga #4.
These are all things that I have picked and chosen to do and to be a part of.
I am grateful for all the above.
But yet I am still dissatisfied.
At stuff : people : their wants : their needs : annoyances : work : the world : myself.
And this is the reason I sit.
I sit staring out at this incredible view, allowing my mind to drift. To dwell on certain situations, or conversations, or actions. Both from myself and from others.
Oh! I just saw the cutest thing.
A seagull tried to land on a bench that was covered in snow.
But the snow kept falling out from under his feet. So he extended his wings, lifted himself up in flight and tried again. He knew there was something solid to stand on under the soft, fluffy powder, he just couldn’t find it.
After a couple of tries, he was successful.
He is now standing up to his belly in snow.
But he’s standing. And now he’s just hanging out.
This seagull has successfully done something I am trying to accomplish.
Trying to land. To find my feet on firm ground.
Ideally, I don’t really want to be standing belly deep in snow. But if I do, well, that too is ok.
But for now, I’m quite happy just drifting, thinking, and enjoying the view.